Demure by Johanna Harmon
Chapter
Two
Henry took a
moment there on the front steps to contemplate all he felt for Claire. He knew
it was love and that it had been that almost right from the very beginning.
That truth terrified him. She had the power to devastate his life and after the
hell he had been through with Viola, he did not know if he could survive losing
Claire.
She and the
friendship they shared was the most precious thing in his life and now that his
mother was leaving, he was going to need her more than ever. His siblings and
friends had all long settled into marriage. He would be alone if she went with
his mother to France
Still without
resolve, Henry returned to the blue salon where Claire sat patiently with the
newly arrived tea service and he took the chair across from hers.
“Shall I pour
you a cup tea or fix you a brandy?” she asked sympathetically.
He held a
moment without bothering to answer with an expression she had never seen on him
before, something serious and uncertain then he said, “Claire have you ever
given marriage any real thought?”
“Of course I
have,” she said looking at him now in earnest. “What female hasn’t?”
“Then why
haven’t you married?”
“You know why.”
“No, I can’t
honestly say that I do. You’re beautiful Claire. In fact, I can honestly say I’ve
only know a handful of women whose beauty compares to yours and though modest, your
family is respected.”
“Not modest,
my lord, but paupers hence my vocation as lady’s companion,” she said with
knitted brows. She could not tell what he was getting at and she didn’t like it
one bit. She was accustomed to knowing precisely what he was thinking and was
extremely bothered by this new interest in her personal life.
“Has knowing
me stopped you from marrying?”
“Here now –”
“What am I to
you Claire?”
“I beg your
pardon?”
“It’s been a
full decade since you and I have been acquainted yet you’ve never once used my
given name. Why is that?”
“You’re my
employer.”
“We are
friends.”
“Hardly that…”
“You don’t
count me as a friend Claire?” he asked with open affront.
“Is friendship
the only cause for this inquiry?”
“I’ll start
there.”
“You either
tell me what this is about this instant or you leave.”
“It has to do
with you being in love with me.”
“I– What?”
“You’re here
sacrificing your youth for the hope that I’ll turn up and brighten your day.”
“Let me stop
you there before you embarrass yourself any further.”
“You needn’t
deny it anymore for now that it’s been brought to my attention I’ve come to
offer you my hand in earnest.”
“Good Lord.”
“Henry will do.”
“No, my lord. It most certainly will not,”
said Claire. “Who’s responsible for this? Who would be callous enough to
convince you of such a thing?”
“Do you deny
it?”
“What do you
really want?” she asked.
“You ask me
that after a lifetime of friendship?”
“The fact that
you are indignant does not help me for even the guilty are able to express
righteousness and I’ve been your confessor long enough to know what you’re
capable of.”
“Then you also
know that if all I wanted was you in my bed it would not be a hardship for me.
I see the way you look at me-”
“If you have
mistakenly interpreted my pitied glances for an aged Lothario as anything but
that well… it explains quite a lot.”
She lied for
there was no denying that he had mastered the art of male allure or that you
could very well seduce her out of her good sense, clothes or inhibitions.
He was the
quintessential romantic English lord. He was tall, fair, lean and brilliantly
proportioned with the sort of ratios that had undoubtedly inspired Michelangelo
to put chisel to marble. He was beautiful and effortless with his clear blue
eyes, wide shoulders and narrow hips.
He was sex,
embodied.
He was built
for it, smelled of it… Christ it radiated from his every pore with his lazy
masculine smile to his easy fluid carriage. He was strong, intelligent and
comfortable in his own skin. Men coveted him, women were drawn to the raw
carnality of the air he exuded, and Claire was no different.
“What the
devil is that to mean?”
“That you have
an inflated sense of self.”
“From anyone
else that might have been true,” Henry said. “It’s strange how I’m honest in
all things in my life except with you. You with whom I hold my breath, trying
always to be more than I am, younger, faster, smarter. All for you who expect
nothing from me.”
“Are you
telling me that our entire friendship has been nothing but a lie?”
“No, what I’m
saying is I always make an attempt to present to you my best self but in the
end I always fall short and through no fault of my own, I end up presenting to
you my honest self. Though, why I should feel the need to defend myself to you
who doesn’t even consider me a friend…”
“We are friends,”
she conceded.
“And still you
are an enigma to me, unseen but for your beauty. I know nothing of you, no
vulnerability, no flaw, absolutely nothing beyond your pretty exterior.”
“You say that
as if you hold me responsible.”
“Oh, but I do.
You learned early that most are content to look upon a beautiful face, never
seeing beyond its façade and you use it as armour to keep everyone at bay.”
“Why don’t you
simply tell me what’s caused this sudden interest in me and my personal life.”
“Mother –”
“This is your
mother’s doing?”
“She worries that
your deliberate restraint at my presence is a sign of your deep tendre.”
“I’ll admit to
you having a degree of allure but I would not go so far as to say it has
altered my life.”
“Now, we both
know that that’s not the truth and I feel it’s worth discussing.”
“There was
never anything between us but a fleeting consideration and not even that if the
truth is to be told. I was never more to you than an awed girl with unspoilt
adoration but I’ve long out grown my fascination with the idea of you as
romantic hero.”
“I was always
so very careful with you, you know,” Henry said sincerely. “Ever mindful not to
cross the lines of decency, never touched you the way I wanted. I let you
provoke want in me time and time and again… but then, it’s never been a
hardship for me for I’ve always delighted in the thrill and the chase.”
“None of this
matters anyways. I hadn’t planned to tell you quite like this but I have decided to marry,” Claire said over
her now strained emotions and his open stare.
“Is that
right?”
“Yes. My
Cousin Rachelle’s widow,” she offered steadily as Henry looked on with an easy
smile.
Claire was
bothered by his calm but she refused to let him see how much he was affecting
her. After all, she was sorted now, she had just put him behind her and she
would not allow him to upset her newfound equilibrium.
“Tell me,
Claire. How long dead will I be when this wedding takes place?”
“You are being
unreasonable. Besides I owe you no explanation and since that is the case I
shall take my leave,” she said in preparation to leave.
“I’ll have my
say, sweetheart.”
“What is there
for you to say now that I’ve found an end?”
“Does that
mean you no longer desire me chérie?”
“What does it
matter what I want now that I’m no longer available to you?” she asked angrily.
“I waited a whole lifetime for you to acknowledge what it was that laid between
us and had your mother not insisted, heaven only knows what would become of me.
No more. I’ve found a gentleman who is sensible and reliable.”
“And it’s your
intent to build a life with this man based on qualifications that one seeks in
a steward.”
“Better a
gentleman with the resumé of a steward than one with the credentials of a malcontent,
hell-rake.”
“Why are you
trying to provoke me when all I seek is your comfort?” he asked with his continued
irritating calm while she burned with barely contained anger. He liked that he
was able to incite her out of her usual composure and took the opportunity to
unsettle her further with a slow easy smile.
Poor Claire,
she had never been able to tolerate the full effect of Henry’s lazy,
self-assured smile and her traitorous body glowed with her want.
“I’d like you
to leave this instant,” she said with dignity.
“Say it so I
believe you mean it and I’ll not only leave. I won’t return unless invited to
do so.”
“Why are you
doing this to me now that I’ve found contentment?”
“Because what
lies between us does not belong to you alone and I no longer wish to deny the
attraction I feel for you.”
“You’re
perverse.”
“I know,” he
said with a wicked grin. “Why don’t you come here and let me show how truly depraved
I can be.”
“And so smug.
You’re convinced that you’re more equipped to resist my lure than I am yours.”
“Am I to take
that as a challenge, darling?” he asked with a mocking brow.
“Now what kind
of sense would that make? Why would I initiate a wager in a field where I have
so little knowledge?”
“Surely you
know that I’d be nothing but eager to teach you all I know on the matter.”
“Yes, alright
then.”
“I beg your
pardon?” asked a flabbergasted Henry.
“I’m accepting
your offer.”
“Yes, I see
that, but why now?”
“It will serve
as a means to an end.”
“Yes?” he
asked with a gesture for her to elaborate.
“It will cure
you of me and affirm for me my belief that my choice of husband is the most
sensible.”
“What the
devil did you just say?”
“This is not
meant to hurt you, you understand. It’s only that I’ve known you for long
enough to know that you have not been able to sustain your interest in any
female once you’ve had full physical knowledge of her,” she said. “In fact, I
think it’s the only thing that’s kept you interested in maintaining our
association.”
“You believe
this to be true and still you continue to involve yourself with me?”
“I never said
I was without fault. I know my judgement where you are concerned is not to be
recommended and it’s for that reason I’ve decided now to go this course.”
“Oh, I see… Well,
I wish you a good afternoon, Miss Maxwell,” he said before rising to take his
leave.
“And to you my
lord,” she returned with a triumphant smile as Henry rose to offer a curt bow
before leaving.
Then something
changed in his eyes and she knew, in that instant before he spoke, that she had
given him the advantage by showing her hand too soon. He revelled in her loss,
walking past her for the door as if he was nonetheless willing to concede. Then
he stopped suddenly behind her with a, “Tell me, Claire… Have you already
accepted this widower’s offer?”
“I will the
instant his period of mourning is over and he sets forth his formal offer.”
“Brilliant,”
he said suddenly bending to whisper in her ear, “For I wouldn’t want you to
have to break your word once you finally accept that no one but me will do.”
He stopped for
a moment so that she could feel the weight of his words while his breath, hot
on her ear, pulled at her core. When he was sure she was well aware of the
promise of the moment he brushed his lips over the eager flush of her earlobe
with a, “I’ll see to it that we are not disturbed.”
Chapter Three
My love ,
My love ,
Simone
