This is just one of those ideas from my notebook that never developed beyond it's infancy.
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THE initial IDEA
She had been the fifth girl in as many months who had come to declare her delight at meeting her mother’s favourite professor and she, like the others had not resembled in anyway, the girls their mothers had been. There was no warm innocence and wide-eyed naivety in these young women as there had been in their mothers' before them.
These girls bore the mark of the weary cynics that the relationships with men from his era should have left on their mothers but instead pasted on to their daughters making them impervious to the kind of charms he issued. They were wise with knowing in away their mother could never be. They summed him up on sight, could see his weakness and humoured him the way one does a fellow victim of the same affliction.
This girl like a few of the others offered him a blowjob, seemingly out of pity, swallowing without qualms, making sure to kiss him with breathy goodbye. It made him sick to know he had a hand in the making of these hard terrifying girls who were his superior where their mother struggled to be but his equal.
Then before she left, she handed him a card and said, “Call my mother and tell her you think of her from time to time. It will free her from believing she is without weight.”
Yes, he had a hand in the making of these young women. He sees that now. In fact, he saw it a while ago but did nothing about it and will not do anything about it today. He put the card with the other names and numbers left by the other daughters who came on behalf of mothers who had long ago lost their voices sucking his cock... trying to reach his heart.
Rejoice for it is the weekend and I wish you well,
Simone
I do like the photo and it fits the idea. Hm, I want to know more
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen the movie "Thirteen"? This puts me in mind of that.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the visit to my Wordf garden and the comment on "Pitch." When I was a child growing up in the Detroit area, I watched a lot of shows on the Windsor, Ontario station, channel 9. For a while, so many of the commercials had little notations at the bottom, saying "not available in Canada." I always thought that was rather rich. Long ago, Windsor 9 stopped doing that and is now as Canadian as HNIC or Tim Horton's. But that's where I got that line for the ending to "Pitch", from deep in my childhood memories of wasting time watching tv.
What an interesting beginning, and I have to agree I think the photo suits it well. I'd love to see where you're headed with this.
ReplyDelete"This girl like a few of the others offered him a blowjob, seemingly out of pity, swallowing without qualms, making sure to kiss him with breathy goodbye."
ReplyDeleteThere is so much that could be said about this that it blurs my mind to say anything other than... that is an attention grabbing sentence.
Kindest regards,
Tom Bailey
Stopping by for a visit to your blog, which has become habit every few days, and I wished there was more of your story to read. I loved that it addressed an issue of women, of relationships, and of generations. Your words grabbed me. Looking forward to more.
ReplyDeleteKatharina
Wow...That was shocking....I'm still blushing..
ReplyDeleteHow very sad, and true, that this should be the state and reality of so many. Why do we sabotage ourselves like this? Very beautiful writing, Simone, and most beautiful in its harsh honesty. Thank you for coming my way, and for showing me the trail back here.
ReplyDeleteNevine
very very good!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely & evocative blog... I just happened to land here & I am glad I did.
ReplyDeleteSimone, your insight into the attitude towards a sexual act as a means to an end, for a woman of a different generation, is illuminating. Frightening too that in spite of the male character's own realisation of his guilt, the inability to change remains. Perfect picture selection.
ReplyDeleteOutstanding on all levels Simone . . . :)
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, I was like what? I better read this from the beginning :)
ReplyDeleteA beautiful photo of a beautiful girl and some strange and convoluted thoughts---WOW! had to reread it. Well written and a little scary. Thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteIt is a savage thing to be sure, and disturbing with its implications of incest too. But it's very good. Unlike the others, I rather feel it stands just fine as it is, a kind of prose poem of a very direct kind.
ReplyDelete(I've meant to say before how much I like your Lord Leighton 'Flaming June', by the way. He must have got through tubes and tubes of cadmium orange painting that!)
My every thanks to you all but the truth of this is I myself did not think it so shocking. In fact, the reason it didn't go anywhere for me is that I did not think it original enough. I felt it had already been said well by people like Steinem and Roth. I have pages of notes but all of it I felt certain was grivel or cliche. Only now I think I WILL look at my notes again.
ReplyDeleteSo again my thanks,
Simone
Simone
ReplyDeleteI've only just read this post. It's shockingly beautiful. You are a rare talent.
wow!
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ReplyDelete