Tuesday, July 7, 2009

My Second Attempt at The Romantic Query Letter

Delphin Enjolras' Reading by Lamplight

A Romance Query Letter Sample
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
After re-working the first five chapters of the manuscript and composing a new letter
10 Agents queried, 8 form letter rejection, 1 request for partial, 1 none reply

Dearest Agent of My Life,

Ellesmere is a 100,000+ words romance set in late Regency England that tells with heart and humour the story of James Latimer, future Duke of Ellesmere, and Esmé Bessborough. The two collided in the spring of 1816 in the garden at the Countess of Irvine’s midnight ball when she, en route to meet with her fiancé in the rose arbour, tripped and fell into James. They shared one passionate kiss though she was intended for another and so the two parted.

In the ensuing years, Esmé, jilted on her wedding day, settles in Bath, a near spinster, miserably in love with James who was by then engaged to Esmé’s dearest friend the beautiful Lady Joanna Montgomery. That is until Esmé received a letter that forever altered the course of all their lives. The letter was followed shortly by the writer, Joanna, and her new husband Thomas Bessborough, Esmé’s irresponsible brother.

They had fallen in love and eloped when James, now the Duke of Ellesmere, frustrated at being engaged for fours years demands that a date be set. Married, but beholden to James due to the fortune he settled on her family, Joanna begged Esmé to marry James in her stead in order to save them all from ruin. Initially reluctant because of their shared past, Esmé journeys to London with the newlyweds where she is quickly pressured to go alone for the good of the family.

James, preoccupied by the awful news of his missing cousin, agrees to the substitution in order to save his already grieving family from further scandal. The two rush to the altar amidst rumours of resurrections, bigamy and abduction schemes. Now married, but essentially strangers, James and Esmé makes an honest attempt at understanding each other while reconciling past heartbreak and current upheaval.

The manuscript is complete and available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Simone Ogilvie
The agent that requested the partial kept it for two agonizing months before sending an encouraging rejection letter, so it was back to the drawing board.

Now keep in mind postage to the United States starts at 98 cents and I must include a self-addressed stamped envelope in order to get a reply. Also here in Canada one is not able to purchase U.S stamps so I have to first order them from the American postal service. Again, not a cost of worry but a due gladly paid for in the end it will all be worth it when I get my ideal agent. Besides more and more agents are going green and are only accepting email queries.

Until next time


  1. I know exactly what you're talking about haha. Except when I first started out I had no clue what a 'SASE' was o.o so I had to ask around a lot.

  2. i've most ever one of the books you have listed and from your individual post i think i have a good idea the sort of book you have written and i hope it gets published.