Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Third Attempt at The Romantic Query Letter

Delphin Enjolras
Example of a Romance Query Letter
Wednesday, May, 28, 2008
A new letter for a new batch of agents discovered on Publishers Marketplace.
9 Agents queried, 8 form letter rejection, 1 request for partial.

My Dearest Agent,

One would think when presented with the opportunity to marry the object of her secret desire, Esmé, only days away from her twenty-fourth birthday and spinsterhood, would gladly seize the prize. But, Esmé had had her heart broken before and wasn't about to leap blindly into possible devastation again.

Ellesmere is a 100,000+ words historical romance novel set in England and follows our heroine as she journeys from abandoned spinster to triumphant duchess. Deserted on her wedding day by her childhood sweetheart, Esmé, now contentedly residing in Bath with her cousin Inez, is paid a visit by her frantic brother Thomas and his new wife Lady Joanna Montgomery.

Thom had eloped though his new bride was already engaged to the powerful Duke of Ellesmere… a man with whom Esmé had shared a passionate embrace. Now the duke, who had paid off all of the family's debts as part of their marriage contract, needed to be repaid. However, neither the bride, nor the groom's family had fortune enough to do so.

Esmé is first asked, and then forced, to marry Ellesmere in order to save them all from ruin, but this rush to the altar robs the couple of an authentic beginning. Now married but for the most part strangers, Ellesmere and Esmé's future happiness teeters on the brink. And when things left unsaid are brought to the forefront by the hurtful claims of his ex-mistress, Esmé questions all.

In the midst of all this, Ellesmere's beloved cousin Simon is kidnapped by a misguided murderess, working to secure the future of her two young daughters. As Ellesmere rushes to rescue his cousin he rediscovers old friends, forms new alliances, all while he falls more deeply into love with his fiercely supportive wife.

The manuscript is complete and available upon request. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours Sincerly,

The agent that requested the partial suggested I had the manuscript edited and resend, which I gladly did. Only to have her a few days later send me an email informing me of her belief that an author aught to treat their first book as research not to be queried. So, I send her my second manuscript. ThaT one she said had better technique than the first, but she did not like the characters as well. I've sent her my third manuscript. I'll let you know what she says.

Be well,

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