Procrastination the most consistent part of my process
1) Sunday, for instance… I rose with the sun at seven sharp. ‘I’m going to write today,’ I tell myself, but my bed is holding me hostage. Stubborn bed… it refuses to listen to negotiations, so I linger there until nine. But I’m still motivated. When I finally do get up, I go to make myself a pot of tea.
2) Earl Grey or Exotic Chai? Or something herbal? I go with the Earl Grey for the caffeine, I make a three-minute egg, and double-toasted bagel, smothered with real butter. Yum!
By now, it’s ten o’clock and I still haven’t written a word. I know you’re saying, ‘One hour for breakfast? She’s ridiculous.’ But in my defence, I took a phone call from my mother. Not that it’s an excuse, but she did give me life so I have to indulge her.
3) I’m at my desk now, pen and paper before me. The sun is out. I put on some music – to set the mood. I take a sip of my tea and decide against the Earl Grey.
I return to the kitchen to boil the kettle. I’ll have some of the herbal tea instead.
So while I wait for the tea to brew, I call my sister, but I’m sure to tell her, right off, that I’m not able to talk long, what with my having to write and all.
4) At noon, I’m back in front of the desk, yet again. I’m ready to write but I’m pre-occupied with something my sister said. I drink my tea to calm my distracted mind. It works, only now I’m too calm.
I wish now, and not for the first time mind you, that I was more of a coffee-drinker, and contemplate going out to get a cup. We’re not really coffee-drinkers around here and we usually get our coffee from the outside.
I’ve all but dismissed this as wasteful, when my sweetie pops his head inside the door, back from his run and has come to entice me to join him in the shower. I resist for about ten seconds.
5) It’s two o’clock. I’m eating an apple and leftover Chinese from the fridge while my sweet distraction switches on his laptop and gets to work. I glare at him with hatred and a little self-loathing.
I hate that he’s able to focus on his task while I chatter on and still have yet to write. So I eat his portion of the Chinese food out of spite before returning to my writing desk with yet another cup of tea.
I’m uncomfortable. I’ve eaten too much.
I have to walk around for a spell you understand…
I can’t stand the sight of Mr. Discipline at his laptop, diligently working, so I drag on some proper clothes and go for a walk.
It is important to note though, that I’m only going for as long as it takes for me to feel comfortable again.
6) I run into Simone while out. She swears she told me she was going to be in my neighborhood. I can’t remember that. She invites us to dinner.
I pop home to shower and change. Even my disciplined sweetie decides to abandon his reports for dinner at Simone’s for no one can resist her pasta bake and triple chocolate brownie.
7) By eight o’clock, I’ve enjoyed enough wine and food to make me languid with contentment and we’re now helping Simone clean up the kitchen. I tell her how I’d planned to write all day.
I never really liked her.
Then she says, ‘What were you planning to write?’
I told her about the November blog chain on my writer’s survival list. She tells me that I should write about how procrastination is a great part of my process.
I’m furious with her for pointing this out and I tell her so. She apologizes and says, ‘Alright. What will you write?’
I say that I will do as she says for it is a good idea, not to mention a part of my process.
Everyone laughs, myself included.
8) When I get home, I make myself another cup of tea and set myself down in front of my desk. And fall promptly asleep.
This, I wrote in a dead panic, maybe twenty minutes ago, during lunch for tonight there is a staff meeting, them I have yoga and a late dinner with my sweetie. Oh and a deadline, that is imperative or I get nothing done.
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