Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Guilty Pleasures: The Theme for the January Absolute Writer Water Cooler blog chain

I’ve listed my Guilty Pleasures in the way one would the Capital Vices or Cardinal Sins and because I am first in the chain I’m more than likely drunk on the novelty so bear with me if my 7 sins seems more like 14 or even 21. Directly following me in the chain is Fresh Hell who is a thoroughly lovely individual whose guilty pleasures are not nearly as kitschy as my own. Or are they? You are just going to have to follow the link and find out.

Now my Vices/ Pleasures... or is it Sins? You decide.

1. Gluttony – Deep fried candy bars. Don’t judge me. At least it’s not Deep fried Twinkies. Oh, and birthday cake with the sugary white frosting as pictured above. So delicious.

2. Lechery - Alright, I’ll admit to this being a vice but men who look like old lesbians is a pleasure that should not be denied nor is Hot Chicks with Douchebags. The names say it all. Follow the link and you will laugh until you cry, I swear it.

3. Sloth – Jersey Shore the MTV reality show or "the worst thing to happen to the east coast since 911." This one, I caught when the clicker fell under the sofa and I was too lazy to pick it up, so now I’m hooked on ‘THE SITUATION.’ Also, if I’m up late and can’t write it’s TMZ. Oh, the things laziness will make a girl do.

4. Envy – Pussycat Dolls. And here is how they made millions: with half the talent of a real singer and all the tricks of a Vegas stripper. At a very, very close second is Britney Spears. Don’t hate. She had some good beats.

5. Vainglory – The National Enquirer. You know the ones with 'dogboy' or the 'aliens' on the cover? Well, I read them then I boast unjustifiably so about what I’ve read to all who will listen without bothering to tell them that my source is the Enquirer. Though I'm quite certain that by the twelfth time I say 'dogboy,' they sort of get the picture. Oh, also sucking at jeopardy only to get the answer to Final Jeopardy right and lose my mind, calling my family and friends idiots for the rest of the night.

6. Hubris – The thing that keeps me dancing in public even though I’m the very image of an off-beat robot. I’ve also been known to do 'the robot' too. Just imagine Elaine Benes of Seinfeld dancing, or simply hit link.

7. The vice/guilty pleasure - Debauchery
The pleasure in which I revel is The Penthouse Forum because those letters are truly hilarious and if you are able to read one without laughing then you are far more virtuous than I. Why, even the ones posted by odd-balls online are funny. Perfect example here:

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it could happen to me.

I was in my car, driving down the road towards the stop light; when it suddenly turned green right in front of me and I didn't have to stop or even slow down! Then, as I approached the next light, it too turned green!

I swear I'm not making this up!

All Greens, New York, NY

A close second to the letters for me is POST SECRET. BLOGSPOT.COM. Follow the link, you won’t be sorry. Although you may lose hours out of your day...

In the end, one hopes it’s all no more than a handful of "Venial sins" rather than say the kind of Mortal sins that lands one in hell.

I encourage you to take the time and visit all the other participants listed below, if only to see what sorts of odd ducks I’m keeping company with.

A ton of Love,

Claire Crossdale
Fresh Hell
Fokker Aeroplanbau


  1. Ha! The Penthouse forum sounds like a blast! Fun post, thanks.

  2. White frosting makes me froth at the mouth. I want it so bad.

    Oh man, you are just trying to get us all in trouble with these web-sites, aren't you? Troublemaker.

    You need to go to http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/

  3. I do not share your love of white frosting (blech) or deep fried...anything. But some of the others, yes. I love stories about crop circles and aliens. I used to read Weekly World News a lot. This was fun.

  4. Yummy! How delicious!
    But I have never heard of deep fried candy bars?

  5. I LOVED reading this! I visited Post Secret and was really inspired by reading those all of those secrets! Thanks for putting up the link. I used to read TMZ too. :)

  6. Simone, oh my God! I didn't know you had it in you to be this crazy. I should've known that just because you write those proper romances where women swoon doesn't make you any of those women, now, does it? What a fascinating plunge into the real you. I enjoyed this very much, and thank you for sharing it. I had a few laughs, too! :-)


  7. That was fun :)

    I've never heard of deep fried candy bars. Wow!

  8. Enjoy yourself! All of this stuff sounds delightfully wacky. I especially like the idiot and the green lights. They let people like that drive cars? I hope I never drive behind him.

  9. deep fried candy bars! are you writing this from the UK???!!!
    I can relate to the 'sloth' - I have developed a nasty fondness for The Real Housewives of Orange County. I've also started dressing like them... Perhaps THAT is what I'll try to change in 2010!

  10. Shh. Let us have a moment of silence in memory of the late great Weekly World News. "Man Explodes On operating Table!" "Couple Flees Talking Bear."

    Now, Simone. WHY have you not become a reader of my Objets D'art blog? *hand on hip* I'm waiting...

  11. Great kick off. I've never tried a deep fried candy bar. I might have to give it a go.

  12. All my thanks to Simone's loyal friend for there mad love and support. Now my dears from AWWC your comments means every bit as much and I look forward to repaying the honour when each your turn comes around.

  13. What a fun post indeed! Now I get to read even more :)- where can I pick up some more hours for the day to squeeze it all in?! :)

  14. I would never agree that Nicole Scherzinger from THE PUSYCAT DOLLS has half the talent of a real singer. Her vocals are stunning and almost breathtaking, especially on her solo album. Listen to HUSH HUSH or BABYLOVE and you will hear what I'm defending her singing honour so passionately now :)) Her voice is what differs her from so many mediocre pop stars.

  15. This list was wonderfully wacky. The "Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians" website brightened up a day that had too many ups and downs for my liking.

    Great post. :)

  16. After reading this I am having to think really hard about my guilty pleasures. So much so that I am beginning to doubt if I have any. OOPS!

    Great post.

  17. "Now my Vices/ Pleasures... or is it Sins? You decide."

    How about indulgences? At least I like to refer to those things (when I participate in them) as my indulgences. Also, I like to think of Vanity as a useful tool in certain circumstances, depending on the circumstances. This was a fun read and got me thinking...mostly along the lines of "justification" - heh!

  18. You had me at Elaine Benes' dancing! Naw, the cake was hard to resist.

  19. Tough act to follow! Great list. On the lines of guilty-pleasure singers, I have to say Lady Gaga for me. And I always enjoyed reading the covers of WWN and National Enquirer in the supermarket. Those headlines always captivated me!

  20. What a fantastic list! I love how you write. :) I too am all for cake and even the mention of Elaine Benes's dancing gets me laughing! Thanks for that alone! :)

  21. How fun is THAT!!!!!! WOW! Super.

    Love those green lights--SYNCHRONY! Woohoo!

    And all those glorious vices--WOW! Super! (Both I've got them all and more.)

  22. This is a differant Simone to the one i am used to reading about. And there is me putting an award on my blog for you telling everyone, what a wonderful writer you are....i might just add wacky in there.....

    Thank you !

  23. Hmm, I've heard of deep fried snowballs, but never deep fried candy bars :-)

    Great list of guilty pleasures!